What Is Invisible Group Therapy?

It is my name for a group I’ve established, whose purpose is to provide a safe, comfortable, accepting, Christian environment for hosts and alters to connect with other hosts and alters to share ideas and to support each other anonymously by e-mail. No one is pressured to contribute. Anyone wishing to silently learn from the experience of others is welcome to do so, but maximum benefit comes from sharing with the group one’s healing journey.

You could call it a chat group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder, but it is far more therapeutic, life-changing and uplifting than such a term could ever imply.

Why a Group, Rather Than One-On-One?

You can privately email or instant message whoever in the group is available and comfortable with doing so. Here are some important reasons, however, why priority should be given to emails that the group can read:

* Since this is a group of people who have suffered repeated childhood traumas (plus ramifications extending into adulthood), the experience of someone in the group is likely to be surprisingly similar to that of one of your alters. Consequently, even before you share, the help someone receives from the group when that person reveals his/her experience is likely to directly help one of your own alters, as well as encouraging your alter to open up.

* Unlike traditional therapy in which you approach a paid professional who assumes a higher status, you will be among friends and equals, who truly care for you and are encouraged when you share your experience.

* The moment you begin to share, others in the group are likely to be comforted because no matter what you have experienced, some members will probably have suffered something very similar. Because of you, they will feel less like a freak and less isolated. You will quickly find that not only can you be helped by others, you can bring comfort and relief and encouragement to them. Suddenly, you will discover that your past suffering, as regrettable as it was, is not a useless waste but has significance in that it enables you to identify with, and bring help to, other people. Seeing your experience help others will empower you, giving you a sense of meaning and hope and dignity that you very much deserve.

* It is very common for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder to become powerfully bonded to, and dependent upon, the first person they share their deep secrets with. This strong attachment and dependence is emotionally very unhealthy. For example, the one becoming attached is usually beset with continual fears that the other person might leave him/her, and if that person has to move on for personal reasons, it can seem devastating and become a serious setback – even to the extent of creating new alters. It is possible to become so deeply dependent upon someone as to almost suck the life out of him/her. Another serious complication is that these strong feelings might become confused with romantic feelings. Relating to a group, rather than to a solitary individual, reduces these dangers.

* A group of people is able to reply quicker and more often than an individual can achieve.

* You will have the opportunity to help more people and benefit from a wider range of experiences than is possible with just one person. This is a group of especially gifted people. Even though in their early stage of healing, they typically feel too crushed to realize it, people with Dissociative Identity Disorder usually have above average intelligence and abilities. This, combined with their deep experience of trials and inner pain, makes them naturals at tenderly and wisely uplifting other people who are hurting. It also makes them superb at offering valuable solutions to practical problems that any of us might have. This works to make the group an astounding resource. Through the group, not only will you find compassion beyond your fondest hopes from people who truly understand how you feel, it is like being able to draw upon the combined tender skills, wisdom and experience of an entire group of counselors and therapists without the result being the slightest threatening or overpowering.

Convenient and Flexible

Because this group is Internet-based, you can enjoy all the benefits from the privacy and convenience of your own home. There is no travel, no appointment, no waiting room. Being available 24/7, it fits your time schedule perfectly. You might not necessarily get an instant response, but you can send messages and read available ones at whatever time suits you.

Like everyone else in the group, you may e-mail the group as often or as little as you wish, sharing your challenges and progress and asking for ideas for particular issues you face, or sharing solutions that have worked for you.

If you are seeing a counselor or therapist, you are encouraged to continue doing so, but through the group you can receive far more frequent support and encouragement than counselors or therapists are normally able to provide.

Anonymity

I believe you are quite safe in this group without anonymity, but alters tend to be very fearful, and their feelings are important.

It is up to you whether you choose to remain anonymous, but I suggest that you do because it is important for your healing that every part of you feels as secure as possible, and it is likely that later on you will discover you have an alter who does not feel as secure as you do, and needs complete anonymity in order to feel able to share his/her needs with us.

The easiest way to establish anonymity is to get a free Yahoo email address specifically for this purpose.

I suggest you go even further in establishing total anonymity by not using the names of key people in your life. For example, there might be a huge number of Marys in the world, but fewer whose husband is called Arthur, and daughter is called Sharon, and therapist is called Bob. By all means, mention these people, but I suggest either referring to them as “my husband,” “my therapist,” “Daughter 1,” or use their middle name, or some other convention.

Other measures to secure your privacy are discussed in Additional Security below.

Venting and Sharing One’s Secrets

No matter what your alters share, it will not cause people in the group to look down on you. We all understand that what is shared is just the feelings of a tender, suppressed part of you that has found himself/herself trapped in a time warp and, through no fault of his/hers, has not been allowed to heal and discover the things about God that you know. Christ has cleansed and forgiven you of the past; there is just a wounded part of you that has yet to realize the full implications of this glorious truth.

It is normal for alters who have only just begun their healing journey to be reeling with inner pain and explode with raw emotion. They are too distressed to be diplomatic, and the fact that they are still in pain is testimony to the devastating consequences of them not being allowed to fully vent in a safe, accepting environment.

So in this group, alters are allowed to vent against God or anything else, and as they do, they will receive warm, unconditional acceptance. Your alters will be respected. They will not be told they are stupid, bad, or in any other way put down. On the contrary, they will be commended for having the courage to share.

It is vital for your healing that you let your alters speak freely, no matter how contrary to your own beliefs and convictions what they share might be.

I welcome alters expressing hate and insults directly towards me. I understand the depth of pain and frustration behind such episodes and I do not take it to heart. Other members, however, are likely to have sensitive alters and deserve full protection from such unpleasantness. Hate and insults towards any group member except me is prohibited.

Here is a Net-Burst.Net policy statement for our website:

In our service to our local church we may strongly defend its unique heritage and views, but in our service with Net-burst.Net we strive to avoid issues on which genuine Christians differ. We honor those called to address such issues, but our commission is to a wider ministry, enabling us to reach vast numbers of Christians who are hurting, regardless of their denominational allegiance or doctrinal stance.

Nevertheless, it is so vital for healing that alters be allowed to fully express themselves that in this group, this policy is suspended to the extent that alters who are hurting are encouraged to vent and express their raw emotions, no matter how doctrinally or politically offensive we might personally find their views on potentially divisive issues, such as a particular church, or mode of baptism, creation versus evolution, second coming doctrine, divorce, spiritual gifts, politics, and so on. Except for matters critical to salvation, it is not our role to try either to correct or endorse these beliefs, but solely to minister to the hurt that is revealed. It is important that the views of people expressing their raw emotions not be taken as reflecting the views of the rest of the group or of Net-Burst.Net.

On the other hand, those of us for whom a potentially divisive issue is not a cause of inner pain, are able to restrain ourselves and be diplomatic. Those of us who fall into this category are asked to remain quiet on these matters.

To describe a secret or flashback that is tormenting them, alters will sometimes need to be sexually explicit or describe violence. None of us enjoys reading this, and it is usually extremely difficult for the person sharing it. Nevertheless, these details are essential because withholding such information will keep alters isolated and unable to heal. It is unfortunate that some readers could find this triggering, but it should end up furthering the healing of both the person sharing and the person triggered.

Of course, once you sense that a particular email might be upsetting, you can stop reading immediately. No one who feels uncomfortable with anything should feel the slightest obligation to keep reading. It might be that you are just feeling delicate at that time and can safely return to it later, or you might prefer to give it a permanent miss.

Typical sources of torment for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder are flashbacks, body memories (where one’s body experiences feelings as if past trauma were being repeated), a need for objects associated with babyhood (including diapers, pacifier, formula milk, engaging in thumb sucking), addiction to porn, masturbation, degrading sexual fantasy, self-harm, eating disorders, (groundless) fears that one is going insane, disturbingly strong feelings of shame, guilt, rage, hate, blaming God, being terrified of God – especially that he might molest them – a past involving sex acts with mother, father, sister, brother and/or animals, anal penetration, finding aspects of sexual molestation pleasurable, and having treated other children inappropriately.

There is one restriction on what we can share that saddens me. My understanding is that the law regards a person as an accessory to a crime if that person hears of a crime and does not report it to the police. If you know of any illegal activity that you are legally required to report to the police and you are unwilling to involve the police, please do not expose the rest of us to this legal dilemma. Please, however, impress upon your little alters that this restriction does not apply if you are the victim of a crime, and that the law is on the side of any minor who has sex with an adult. Young alters often do not realize that the law regards the minor as innocent and the adult as guilty.

How Effective is This Group?

It is amazing how quickly people feel at home in our Dissociative Identity Disorder chat group. This is demonstrated by the fact that the following testimonies were written not long after each person joined. Although many of the testimonies read similarly, they are from seven different people.

If, after reading the following, you feel sure that the group would reject you, then you are perfect for the group. When they first joined, everyone expected to be rejected!

The first is from an alter who was receiving excellent daily support from a skilled person for over a year and yet, to my surprise, she still greatly benefited from the group.

When I first heard of this group, I felt very unsafe about joining, but here I am safe and sound and thanking God that I took the risk and joined.

This group is my voice, my family, my lifeline, my safe place. It is where I am understood. It has become my outlet where I am no longer isolated or dependent on just one person.

When I began reading the group emails, I found I could respond. I connected. It was the most amazing experience of my life. I felt truly human and no longer alone. This may sound trivial but for me it was huge.

I figured that since the group is Christian, once they learned I am divorced I’d be shoved aside. Nevertheless, I decided to take the risk and tell them. Boy, was I shocked when I was embraced and understood! I have always craved to be accepted, and now I am.

Healing takes great courage and if the risks we take are of God, they really aren’t risks at all, but golden opportunities. I just needed to grasp this and now that I have, it is liberating.

It has been so healing, and I have experienced a freedom with God I have never known. I had sought God for another alter but I never dreamed he’d call me and love me. But he does, and he has shown that through this group.

Whenever anyone from the group contacts me I get so excited. I can connect with the really neat people in the group and, strange as it is to me, I feel very safe. For most of my life I have craved feeling this safe.

I used to be terrified of being alone. I figured I’d kill myself if I wasn’t frantically involved in all sorts of activities to keep my mind off the things inside me that were haunting and tormenting me. Wanting to keep busy and hoping for friends, I joined a group. The people in it hate God and are cruel but I felt I needed them and stayed with them for years despite all the pain they caused me. Now I’m free to leave them. I don’t need to waste my time on false relationships. I have real friends.



The love, safety, tenderness, and gentleness expressed in this group is incredible.

The group has helped me grow. It has protected me big time. It has been my lifeline. There are times that I have nearly given in to self-harm, but did not because of the support of the group.

My therapist has often said I need to be careful about who I choose to share with. People can mean well but if they don’t have the knowledge or are unwilling to understand, the result can be harmful. But with this group I have found safety and acceptance. For this group, I will be forever grateful.



I think it is somewhat miraculous that I and my parts have been able to trust everyone in this group. I never get close to people. Yet this group is the family I always wanted and never had.

“Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.” When I read that, I thought immediately of our group. As I see each of us opening up and revealing our secrets, I’m witnessing something that is more beautiful than I can put into words. And as each alter comes forth and shares the secrets, be they past pain, insecurities, or concerns, or real or imagined guilt, we become less and less lonely.

Immediately before joining the group, my terror was knowing that because nothing worked, I may as well go ahead and die right now. When first visiting the Net-Burst.Net website, I thought making contact would be useless because I’d be charged a fortune and I can’t afford anything right now. Eventually I felt so desperate that I decided I could at least make enquiries. To my amazed relief I discovered that everything is free.

The group is helping so much that my life changed from the moment I received my first email. Somehow I sensed that this was going to be the beginning of the end of a horrible nightmare. And it has. Even the worst of days since this group took me in has been a walk in the park compared to the best days before.

Despite the process being initially frightening, it is somewhat phenomenal how sharing what has been buried deep for so many years brings about such profound results. I and my alters are no longer the only ones with my concerns. We have invited caring people who really understand to be present with us in our traumas and our anxious thoughts. We really and truly are no longer alone.

I have never, ever, ever, ever felt as safe as I do here in this group. I have not had even the slightest feeling of regret for being here. It is truly amazing that we have come together in such a strong, cohesive group.

I am so thrilled to have the blessings of friendship with people in this group. I don’t know if you have even a hint of what that means to me. I’m not totally sure why I’m even saying all these things. I am rarely able to express feelings of appreciation to others. I am just so thankful for the wonderful friendships I have found here.

As a child I would create families in my imagination every day – hundreds of them – that would come and rescue me from the rubble of my horror. This group has been far better than anything that I was able to imagine as a child. And I know that the group has saved my life, literally!

I was seeing a counselor before discovering this group and I still see him on a regular basis. But that has become a very small part of my recovery. I have read books about abuse issues, post traumatic stress syndrome, and DID. And while that has been informative, it could not and didn’t help me personally. I needed to have real people who were dealing with the same things I was that would understand me and be there for me, all of me (alters included). And that is what group has done.

This healing journey has not been without its ups and downs. There have been some excruciating things I have had to deal with. But having all of the group there for me has given me the ability to deal with those hard times.

I could share lots more, but don’t want to be too longwinded. For now, know this: the before and after pictures of my life since finding the group reveal a night and day difference in how I live.

I am so thankful to the group! I love everyone in it very dearly and long for the day that we meet face to face so I can give them the physical embrace that I can only extend in cyber space right now.



I asked Jesus for a hug yesterday and he has been giving it to me through the group.

Proverbs talks about the power of the tongue. It has power to heal, or tear down and destroy. We who have been injured so deeply, understand that power greatly and see the far-reaching effects of it in our life, and attitudes toward ourselves, God, and others.

The last few days the words that have been spoken to me through the group have been reaching deep inside and countering the horrible lies that have been instilled in me. I can hear the positive words from the group going over in my mind, and I hear some of my alters giggling with delight. It is like I can feel it gently massaging my heart and restoring life that was lost.

It has taken me a very long time to get here, but the rewards are well worth the walk through the darkness to get here. My Papa (God) gave me a promise that he will give me the treasures that are hidden in darkness – the place where no one wants to walk because it is filled with deep trials, pain and grief at times – yet the treasures that we unearth there are richer than anything found on the sunny side of the mountain.

I praise God for my trials. They are working in me to produce those fruits of the Spirit that cannot be bought. My faith is much more valued by my Papa than gold or silver.

When I pray about this group, I have a sense that our Daddy will use it for his glory, and that many lives will be touched, including our own. I am looking forward to seeing the God who tenderly made butterflies and bees and yet has power over the storms, work miracles in our lives though this group and in the lives of those he will send to us to minister his love, truth and kindness to.



This group is very special. It is an amazing community of insight, wisdom, compassion and humor.

Joining this group was my last hope. I had purchased supplies to commit suicide and had a plan of where and when to complete it. I didn’t tell anyone, but the date I had set to commit suicide was just three days after I joined the group. That date came and went because of the hope and love this group gave me. So many in the group send me lifesavers. The prayers, care, compassion, and kindness I keep receiving from the group is “off the charts,” and full of the true meaning of what God is really all about.

I have spent thousands of dollars on self-help books, been to several psychiatrists and psychologists, and even spent a couple of months in a mental hospital. None of it has ever provided long-lasting, true healing. To add insult to injury, I am a Christian, and I felt like a complete failure in my faith because I wasn’t all Kum-Ba-Ya inside. Oh, I have a smile on the outside (I’m a master of masks) and people at church believe I’m such a happy person. Inside, I was dying a slow, painful death.

I’ve been a member of this group only for a few weeks, but I have already taken my original planned suicide date off my calendar.

When I didn’t have any hope, this group has already given me some. Everyone here is so supportive. So many in it have experienced abuse similar to my own and they are healing. I already know that they all care about me. I don’t know where this is all going to go, but I’m staying, and I’m inspired to fight for my healing. I believe the Lord is providing me with the help I need, in a great part, by participating in this group.

I’m inspired by everyone’s determination and courage to heal, and how brave they are to write and express what they are going through.

I do believe there is true healing, and that in this group we will continue to see proof of it.

I may not be able to write very often. I have been on vacation, and must return to work tomorrow, which requires about 50 hours a week of my time. But, I will come to visit it and contribute as often as I can. It is a great opportunity!



I’m amazed at what this group is doing in people’s lives. I didn’t think I would ever make such a great difference in someone’s life or be a part of a group that did.



Meeting everyone I have met so far in this group is the miracle I’ve been begging for all of my life. I’ve been to one head doctor after another but not one of them ever suggested group therapy. I can’t believe that in such a short time that I have been sharing with this group how much lighter I feel. I feel like I’m actually floating on a cloud of love and hope. I have never felt this much hope, ever! It feels good to know that I am not alone.

Before I joined this group I was wanting to die. I long ago gave up on God. So I don’t know why I chose this group, other than it’s a miracle. I went from one thing to another, trying to find help. Most of the things I did were constructive but it wasn’t helping – because I was doing it alone. With this group, I feel like part of a real family. That is something I have longed for all my life. I feel nurtured and loved with this group. I love everyone in it. I feel so much better. I feel safe to be myself and that has taken such a load off me. I have a group of people I can trust! I am so thankful for being a part of this group.

More Comments About this Group

The Disadvantages/Limitations of the Group

We are convinced about the effectiveness of the group in helping people with Dissociative Identity Disorder to heal. Nevertheless, no one in the group makes any claim to having professional expertise in treating Dissociative Identity Disorder. Individuals merely share what has worked for them. Whether it will work for you or whether you even have Dissociative Identity Disorder, is for you to decide through prayer.

As mentioned, it is possible that something might be shared that you find triggering. It is our belief that the advantages of open sharing far outweigh this.

At times, group members will feel overwhelmed by their personal struggles and might not feel able to reply to as many emails as they would like. If ever you feel the group has not adequately responded to a concern, please repeat the concern and if it is still not addressed, then feel free to email me personally about it.

If ever you have any concerns you do not feel comfortable about mentioning to the group then, again, I am available. Hopefully, however, you will soon learn to trust the group.

Additional Security

Although the anonymity provides significant security, as a further measure, it is a strict condition of membership that no one reveals anything shared by someone in the group, unless that person’s express permission is sought and received.

Furthermore, this is a small, exclusive group, not listed with any search engine. Even the existence of the web address is suppressed. The Yahoo website is unable to be accessed without a password.

No one is permitted to join the group without first sharing with me by email and convincing me that he/she is genuine. If anyone new joins, the group will be informed.

Practical Help With Getting An Anonymous Email Account

Our group is a private one (invitation only) that operates through Yahoo. Although emails can still be funneled through to your usual email address, Yahoo requires each of us to have an email account with them.

Choose a name you feel comfortable with. I suggest you don’t include your last name or date of birth in your email address, but unless your first name is quite rare, (and so you think it could identify you) I believe you will significantly benefit from using your real first name. This can help you feel more connected and feel that it is really you and not some fantasy figure who is being loved and accepted by the group.

To establish a Yahoo email account, Yahoo asks you to provide your date of birth. This is kept secret. Neither I nor anyone else in the group can access that information. If you wish, however, you can provide a fake date, although it is best to use a date that you can recall, in case you ever forget your password.

Additional Points

Some people will at times be too busy to read everything posted to the group. If you just hit reply on an email and the subject line does not make it obvious who is it is for or what it is about, the person it is intended for might miss it, not realizing that it is meant for him/her.

Few of us like saying no to someone who phones, or restricting the length of a call from a long-winded person. So before deciding to privately provide your phone number to a group member, I suggest you ask me about that person’s phone manner. Most people are fine but it is possible that at some time in the future we gain a particular member who could be rather time consuming.

Once you join, this is your team and we want you to feel as comfortable as possible, so please share your thoughts on any way we can improve.

If something is coming up that you would like us to pray for, could you try to give us a couple of days warning. Otherwise, due to time zone differences and our personal schedules, it might be after the event before some of us learn of a prayer need. Also, you could give a date, rather than say, for example “tomorrow” which could be confusing for people who read it when the event is already “today.” Finally, please say whether, for instance, it is Australian time (which is a day ahead of US time) or US time.

Reminder

You sharing delicate matters helps the team in two significant ways.

1. Almost certainly, anything that concerns you will be something that other team members have also had to grapple with. You mentioning it helps them feel less alone.

2. You are giving team members the opportunity to help you. This builds them up, proving to them that their own stress and suffering is now paying dividends in that it is equipping them to help other people. It makes past sufferings meaningful and not a useless waste.

Above all, it has the potential to significantly aid your healing.

How to Join the Group

Ensure you agree with our approach to healing by reading Help Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.) and the pages it leads to, then e-mail me, Grantley Morris, at healing@net-burst.net

Related Pages

For much more insight and help, see:
Christian Resources: Index of Help for Dissociative Identity Disorder

Personalized support
Grantley Morris: healing@net-burst.net