2. Forgive other people

If we cannot forgive the sins of other people, it is little wonder that we fear that God might be similarly unforgiving of our sins. In fact, Scripture keeps linking God forgiving us with us forgiving other people. The two types of forgiveness are bound together like Siamese twins.

For more, see To Forgive is Divine and the pages it leads to

3. Be willing to let go of pet sins

This is critical for salvation.

For more, see Why we can’t be forgiven while refusing to let go of sin

4. Be willing to obey God, no matter what the cost

Making Jesus Lord is not an optional extra for Christians, but submitting to God is comforting, not scary. Until we realize this, we might be unconsciously sabotaging our faith in God’s forgiveness because if we truly believe we are forgiven we will have no excuse for not obeying God.

For more about how comforting obeying God is, see Enjoying God’s Will

5. Understanding the nature of besetting sins

Although we were born again for victory, it is common for Christians to repeatedly fall into sin until they learn how to activate God’s power in their lives. Repeated failure does not mean we are unsaved, provided we want to succeed.

For more, see Life’s Mysteries Explained

6. Do what we can to undo the hurt our sins have caused people

For more, see Soothing a troubled conscience

7. Know that Christians suffer spiritually unreliable feelings

Christians are regularly afflicted by disconcerting feelings that do not line up with spiritual reality.

For more, see Spiritual Wilderness Survival Guide

8. Consider your inner child

A common psychological reaction to childhood trauma is for the mind to cleverly protect itself by part of the person being unaware of some things that the other part knows. Many people have this split within them without realizing it.

This is of profound significance to quite a proportion of people who do not feel loved/forgiven even though they know the gospel. It seems whacko until this well-documented psychological reaction is understood, but the problem is that only part of them (usually the adult part of them) knows that Christ loves them and has forgiven them. Only when the child in them is reached and learns the full implications of the gospel can the person at last feel forgiven.

Some people, though completely unaware of the little child in them that has scary secrets and doesn’t know the full truth of the gospel, might have peculiar lapses of memory, such as sometimes finding personal items in a different place to where they recall leaving them. This can be disturbing until they learn that the lapses are simply times when the other part of them was in control. Sometimes people who e-mail me suddenly send an e-mail that seems out of character and might have poor spelling. When I send a copy of the e-mail back to the person they are often shocked as they have no recollection of ever writing it.

For more, see Healing Your Inner Child

9. Stop repeatedly asking for salvation

Suppose someone wronged you on New Year’s Day and begged your forgiveness. You replied, “Of course I forgive you. I love you far too much to let this come between us.” Then, as if you had said nothing, the person continues for the rest of the day, “Please, please forgive me.” Next day, the person again comes to you, saying, “Please, please forgive me for what I did on New Year’s Day.” And every day the person kept begging forgiveness for that same New Year’s Day offence. Wouldn’t that grieve you? Wouldn’t it prove the person either has a psychological condition or thinks you must be a liar when you say you love him and have forgiven him?

On the other hand, if the person repeatedly thanked you for loving him and forgiving him, wouldn’t that warm your heart?

Salvation becomes ours through faith. To ask repeatedly for the same thing undermines our faith. It is vital that we stop asking for salvation and forgiveness of past sins and replace that with thanking God for our salvation and forgiveness. Faith is essential for salvation/forgiveness and thanking God for it activates and seals that faith.

10. Don’t seek signs

Jesus gave many signs, but when people sought signs, implying they would not believe without a sign, he refused to give them any (Matthew 12:39; 16:4).

Our faith must not be in signs, but in the integrity of God (his love, goodness, truthfulness, and so on) and the power of Jesus’ sacrifice to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

Suppose you said, “I love you” to someone you are devoted to. Imagine how would you feel if that person said, “I won’t believe you are telling me the truth about loving me unless you do so and so.”

To ask for a sign insults God. It breaks his heart that you doubt the reality of his love and won’t take him at his word.

11. Stop going from “expert” to “expert” seeking reassurance

If we feel insecure about our salvation, it is natural to want to seek reassurance by going from source to source, hoping that not just most of them, but all of them will put our minds at rest. This approach is dangerously flawed because, as everyone knows, any crackpot can create a website on any subject that gives a deceptively false air of authority. We know that “Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light,” and Satan quoted Scripture when tempting the Son of God. Moreover, the Messiah’s greatest opponents were theologians, and even Simon Peter, Jesus’ close friend and chosen apostle who loved Jesus passionately, could be so off-beam that Jesus once had to tell him, “Get behind me, Satan.”

Seeking help through a search engine will inevitably prove counterproductive. In addition to finding excellent sites, searching the web will uncover sites satanically designed to undermine your faith in the unlimited power of Jesus’ forgiveness. And when our faith is fragile, staggering from site to site is not only foolish but dangerous. Even theologically correct sites might have parts that are sloppily worded and open to misinterpretation, especially when intended to warn half-hearted readers rather than instruct sincere seekers.

12. Get medical/professional help for psychological disorders

Such afflictions as psychiatric conditions, anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, clinical depression and so on, can cause us to feel anxious about our spiritual condition, when the cause is purely psychological and not spiritual at all.

Nevertheless, despite living in a world that cannot see beyond what you can put in a test tube, consider the possibility that the devil/evil spirits could be exploiting or even causing these conditions.

If you have prayerfully studied the above checklist, ensuring that you have done all you can to resolve each of these issues and pursued the links on those issues that concern you, you are almost ready to proceed. I have just one warning to issue first.

In the wildness Jesus defeated the devil’s attempt to twist Scripture, not by examining every theological argument about the disputed Scripture, but simply by holding on to another Scripture whose meaning was clear. Seeing that Jesus was resolute in clinging to that Scripture, the devil left him, “for a season,” or as the NIV puts it, “until an opportune time” (Luke 4:13).

We can expect no more than Jesus received. If you are resolute in holding on to Scripture’s affirmation that forgiveness and eternal life are available to everyone who seeks it through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, the devil might eventually leave you – but only for a while.

When you least expect it, wham! he’ll be back again, pouring on all the doubt and guilt and condemnation and emptiness and feelings that God has abandoned you – every powerfully convincing, deceptive feeling he can possibly muster.

Salvation is through faith and this satanic attack is your opportunity to shine, by proving that your faith is in Jesus and not in deceptively powerful feelings that are inconsistent with the Word of God and with the heart of God. The devil is a loser because every time he attacks and you resist, your faith grows stronger. And faith is of infinite and eternal value.

1 John 3:19-20 This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

For the many pages not included above that will help you when you feel guilty, see: