Blasphemous Thoughts

Your website has helped me tremendously.

Over the past two and half months I’ve been having terribly blasphemous thoughts. It worried me at first. I thought they were my own thoughts and so I got really scared. Then I found your website and I just about broke down after reading some of it. I’m a guy in college, so crying doesn’t come easily. I just want you to realize how much you have helped me to realize I’m normal, that these are not my thoughts, and that many, many other people have suffered just as I have.

It helped a lot, but it all came back to me a week later and I’m not doing so well anymore. I’m getting extreme anxiety over these thoughts. Also, the thoughts have built shame in me and I get embarrassed very easily around people now. It’s like I’ve lost my confidence and feel responsible for these thoughts. What can I do so I don’t blush so easily whenever these topics come up? Also, what can I do to combat the thoughts? They get triggered so easily. Please help me. I feel trapped.

See what happened? After finding freedom, he was slipping back into accepting the thoughts as his own.

This is common. With our every advance we can expect a counterattack in which the devil will try to retake the ground we have gained. We must stubbornly resist the pressure to surrender to his lies, whether it be false condemnation or believing that we are responsible for thoughts we do not want.

In war, the enemy can gain a major tactical advantage by making a show of attacking at one location when it is actually about to launch its main assault at a different location. If one falls for this trick, most of one’s defenses are moved from the area where they are critically needed and focused where they are not so needed.

Don’t waste your resources getting sidetracked into self-examination or fighting thoughts or feelings. No matter how real and scary they seem, they are just cardboard cut-outs. The real battlefront is whether you believe that Jesus died for the sins of the world – believing that through Jesus forgiveness is available for every sin that anyone could ever commit, provided one accepts it.

Consider this scenario: A teenager is head over heels in love with the girl of his dreams. Cindy is stunningly beautiful in his eyes. Her spiteful sister, however, is insanely jealous and desperately wants to sabotage the relationship. So she hatches a plan. She keeps dropping hints to Cindy that she is fat and that no boy would ever want her. Cindy begins to panic and does everything she can think of to lose weight but her sister keeps insisting that Cindy is so ugly that any boy showing interest in her would be secretly disgusted with her and merely pretending to like her so that he can boast to others about how he tricked her and then dumped her.

Cindy ends up so focused on losing weight and so convinced that she is ugly that every indication of love from her would-be boyfriend is misinterpreted. She grows so certain that he would dump her that she thinks the only way to protect herself from heartbreak is to keep pushing him away.

That is like the plan the devil has hatched to try to sabotage our relationship with God. He wants us so fixated on trying to fight unwanted blasphemous thoughts and so foolishly convinced that they render us repulsive to God that we misinterpret our Lord’s every expression of love for us. The devil wants us to push God away through being duped into wrongly supposing that ugly thoughts render us unacceptable to the God who is head over heels in love with us – the God who went to the extreme of the cross to totally forgive everyone whose faith is in him.

Instead of getting to know how loving God really is, we ignore him by becoming so obsessed with ourselves and so focused on our thoughts and feelings that we end up breaking God’s heart by refusing to believe the magnitude of his love for us. We get so distracted by worrying needlessly about insulting God with thoughts we cannot control that we unknowingly fall into the devil’s trap of doing the only thing that truly insults God – not believing in the unlimited power of his love and forgiveness.

Unwanted thoughts, no matter how repulsive, are merely pesky flies that refuse to be shooed away. The average person would be annoyed, but would get on with life. People who are obsessed about germs that the flies might carry, however, could become so fearful of a few flies that they lose sight of the big picture and abandon their great potential by daily devoting all their efforts to trying to fight the flies. The real danger is not the germs but letting the fear of germs get so out of control that it keeps them from the important things in life. Likewise, the real danger with uncontrollable blasphemous thoughts is not that they are anti-God but that we become so obsessed with fighting them that we lose sight of how deeply in love with us God is and how much he approves of us because of the magnitude of what Christ achieved by bearing on the cross our every sin. We become so obsessed with trying to shoo thoughts away that we forget the power of the cross and that salvation is freely showered upon everyone who simply accepts it by faith, no matter how appalling or repeated the sin is.

What makes most attacks so spiritually dangerous is that they tempt people to focus on themselves instead of keeping their eyes on their Savior. It is like Peter walking on the water. It was a little scary for Peter but it went fine until he took his eyes off Christ and onto the waves. It was then that fear took over and he began to sink. Nevertheless, Jesus was right there and kept him safe. No matter what scary distractions the devil throws at you, keep your focus on Jesus. What matters is not how inadequate you are but how adequate Christ is. Let me say it again: There is no limit to Christ’s power to forgive.

People suffering condemnation keep trying to find loopholes in the word of God. They never word it this way, but they think they are some sort of exception that can turn God into a liar. To these people I simply say: which part of all don’t you understand?

Psalm 86:5 You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.

Psalm 103:3 who forgives all your sins . . .

Psalm 145:9 The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.

Isaiah 38:17  . . . In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back.

Isaiah 53:6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Jeremiah 33:8 I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me.

Ezekiel 36:25 I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities . . .

Micah 7:18-19 Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry for ever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

John 1:12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God

Romans 3:22-24 This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Romans 5:18 Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men.

Romans 10:12-13  . . . the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Titus 2:13-14 . . . our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own . . .

1 John 1:7 . . . the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (Emphasis mine.)

Yet people with an overactive conscience will keep feeling guilty and people trying to help them usually expect to be able to remove those feelings by rational argument, but rational argument simply won’t help. It’s like a person who is afraid of harmless spiders. No amount of rational argument that the spiders are harmless will reduce the person’s fear. Every Christian who is plagued by guilt feelings despite believing in Christ and longing to be free from sin, needs to realize that guilt feelings will remain, and simply choose not to be dominated by those feelings, even though the feelings are unpleasant and upsetting, and the thoughts are disgusting.

The real reason for Christians being harassed by blasphemous thoughts is the same reason why forgiven Christians feel condemned. It is a satanic attempt to distract us from the real issue: we are saved by simple faith in Christ, not by works. Unwanted thoughts are simply a form of temptation, and all Christians are tempted. The temptation, however, is not an attempt to get us to think wrong thoughts. Neither God nor the devil cares about the thoughts he puts in our head. The devil’s goal is to get us to doubt the reality of the forgiveness and divine approval that we have in Christ.

Mick, who for year after year after year has had an horrific battle with blasphemous thoughts writes:

I’m so blessed that I am at last comprehending this affliction. I’m close to beating it, now.

I’ve noticed that, despite the extreme lengths I’ve gone in my attempts, I’m literally powerless to stop intrusive thoughts. That being the case, it is futile to attempt to fight the thoughts. So here’s my solution: When unwanted thoughts come, I just let them. I mean it: I let the worst conceivable blasphemous thoughts, disgusting ideas, and so on, come and run their course. It doesn’t matter if I’m guilt ridden, emotionless, have a tight chest, or whatever, I don’t bother trying to resist them. I freely let them happen.

Jesus gave the parable of a father who had two sons. One said he would obey, but didn’t. The other said he would not, but did (Matthew 21:28-31). It was the latter son, despite what he said, who pleased the father. So here’s how I look at it: I can have hideous thoughts, yet reject sin. I can think bad things about God, yet worship him. So who cares about the thoughts? Does God? Will he condemn me? No. If I had the thoughts, believed them, and lived them, then yes, I would need to repent, but I don’t even have to bother with that, because the thoughts I suffer are inflicted on me against my will.

Someone else wrote the following. You’ll see it interspersed with my comments in a different color:

It seems as though the harder I try to stop vile thoughts against God’s Precious Holy Spirit, the more they come.

If God had said speaking against blue bears was unforgivable. Then guess what? I would probably have thoughts against blue bears.

The thoughts come when I get angry, or aggravated or even after I have been “well behaved” (read the Bible, gone to church, or prayed). Every time I try to draw closer to the Lord I have blasphemous thoughts and then I worry about the unpardonable sin. Even as I am typing thoughts come to my mind. I wish this problem on no one! There has not been a day when I don’t think I am unpardonable, because of some thought. I constantly worry about my salvation every day.

I have prayed and prayed.

1 Timothy 2:3-4 . . . God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (Emphasis mine.)

And God has given us many promises about answered prayer. Here is one:

1 John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him.

If God says he has given you something, it is lack of faith to ask for it again, as if God might have lied the first time. Just thank God that regardless of what you think or feel, he has already given his salvation.

Doubting your salvation is like someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder checking locks. He checks that it is locked and feels peace but soon doubts begin. Doubts build higher and higher, anxiety builds until, despite all logic telling him he has already checked, he gives in to the pressure and checks again. It is like an addiction. Every time he gives in to his anxieties by checking again, it strengthens the addiction. The only way to break it is to refuse to check, no matter how strong the anxiety and doubts get. He must learn to tolerate the doubts and anxiety. It is the same with doubting your salvation, being plagued with blasphemous thoughts, and so on. You must learn to tolerate these unpleasant things, no matter how bad they get. The goal is not to reach the point where they stop, but to learn to live with them.

This is how you treat the illness – the anxiety disorder – of Religious Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; the mental affliction that causes obsessive blasphemous thoughts and repeated doubts about one’s salvation. This treatment works best when used in conjunction with medication prescribed by doctors for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Phobias, such as a fear of spiders, are another type of anxiety disorder. A fear of spiders is overcome by continuing to remain in the presence of harmless spiders, despite the anxiety one feels. It might take weeks, but eventually the anxiety will begin to dissipate as one gradually gets used to tolerating anxiety, rather than giving in to it. You don’t fight spiders; you fight anxiety by refusing to give in to the anxiety. Spiders are not the problem; one’s excessive fear of them is the problem. By refusing to fight (refusing to attempt to kill) harmless spiders, one is exercising faith that they will not hurt you.

So it is with unwanted thoughts and doubts. You don’t fight thoughts and doubts; you fight anxiety by refusing to give in to the anxiety. Thoughts and doubts are not the problem; one’s excessive fear of them is the problem. By refusing to fight thoughts and doubts, you are exercising faith in the saving power of Christ.

If you were to ask me to pray that the thoughts, disgusting images, guilt feelings, or doubts stop, I wouldn’t, even though I would feel deeply for you. To me to pray that they stop would be giving up on you and treating you as a wimp who has no faith. I believe in you and so does God. I believe you can be subjected to Satan’s barrage and still cling to faith in Christ’s cleansing power and that through doing this you will become a powerful person of God.

Mick e-mailed me again:

I’m getting so much better. It doesn’t happen overnight.

I had a pretty big panic attack the other day, then the bad thoughts were coming fast. I was scared and all of a sudden I started laughing! I said something like, “Lord, you must think me a nut. You know better than me I don’t believe one of these words. From now on when such thoughts come, let’s laugh together.”

I believe the key to wellness is to realize that you are literally powerless to prevent unwanted thoughts.