Paul acknowledged that the thorn in the flesh he was suffering was from Satan. The torment was so awful that three times the mighty apostle pleaded with God to remove it. And yet God refused to answer his prayer of escapism. It was God’s plan for the affliction hammering him to bless him by saving him from the quicksand of pride.

Over and over Scripture tells us to rejoice in trials. This is not so that we can act macho but because trials really are something to rejoice about. Trials do us good, developing character and spiritual benefits that will last for all eternity. Trials truly are a blessing. They equip us for ministry. They equip us for eternity. Like Paul, however, when we’re in the midst of them we want out. There are times when God loves us too much to answer those escapist prayers. God has our long-term good at heart, not some short term high that fizzles.

Consider the spiritual heroes portrayed in the faith gallery in Hebrew 11. Many of us lock on to the first half of the gallery – those who by faith received miracles – and overlook the second half, who through faith received the power to endure torment and martyrdom when God saw a better way than to grant miraculous avoidance.

Hebrews 11:35 [By faith] Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. (36) Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. (37) They were stoned; [they were put to the test;] they were sawn in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and ill-treated – (38) the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.

Even of the first half of the faith gallery, Scripture says none received in their lifetime what had been promised (verse 39). And consider Abraham: for year after year, decade after decade, his prayer for a child went unanswered. He had no idea what was going on, but it turned out that each year his prayers went unanswered Abraham was achieving eternal glory as a man of faith, the spiritual father of all who have faith. Likewise, Job ministers so powerfully through the centuries right down to today because both his prayer for healing and his prayer for death met icy silence. Unanswered prayer is the only path to such glory.

Faith, says Scripture, is more precious than gold, and yet faith can only grow by prayers going unanswered for what seems an eternity. Yes, the answer finally comes, but faith grows by stretching. It’s usually in those dreary days of unanswered prayer that faith grows best.

God knows how to give good things to his children.

Matthew 7: 7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (8) For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

That sounds as if we will get anything we ask for, but read on:

(9) Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? (10) Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? (11) If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

That still sounds like we will get anything we ask for, but consider the implications of Jesus teaching that God is the perfect Father.

If a child asks for bread, he won’t be given a stone. Nevertheless, a child will sometimes be given vegetables that to him seems as tasteless and as useless as a stone. The child might complain as bitterly as if he were given a stone. His cries for candy and ice-cream will sometimes go unheeded because wise parents know how to give good things to their children.

If a child asks for a fish, he will not be given a snake. If, however, a child foolishly asks for a cobra or scorpion to play with, he will still not be given one. Again the child will feel unfairly treated but no matter how much he pleads, the child will not be given anything harmful. Likewise, in order to remain the perfect Father that he is, God must refuse our request when in our ignorance we ask for things that to us seem good, but ultimately are not in our best interest.

Little children focus on their immediate pleasure, whereas wise, loving parents look out of their children’s longer term good. This is the source of many a complaint from children who mistakenly think their parents are being harsh and stingy. As we grow up we come to realize the benefits of focusing on our longer term good, and we become grateful that our parents did not let us have all the things that now recognize as being unwise or even dangerous. Yet even as mature adults, we often focus on a ridiculously short time-frame, relative to eternity. Like the perfect Parent he is, God gives the very best to his children, even at the expense at incurring their wrath if they foolishly misjudge what is best for them.

1 John 5:14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

And God’s will is filled with wisdom far beyond ours.