Happiness is a timid pet: though it wants to come to you, if you chase it, it will flee.

Like shrewd and courageous investors, great achievers are those who are ruthless in sacrificing short-term pleasure for long-term goals. Lasting happiness comes only to those who sacrifice immediate gratification for some higher good. This will include – but not be restricted to – being willing to sacrifice your happiness, if doing so could increase your partner’s happiness. Like children unable to grasp how eating vegetables could end up making them feel good, we often wonder how lovingly sacrificing our immediate pleasure for our partner’s greater happiness could end up maximizing our own lasting happiness. But it does, and this is one reason why good sex and selfless love are as inseparable as our head and body.

Just as whoever loves money never has enough, so whoever makes sex a god will forever be frustrated. Chase sexual fulfillment and it will vanish. Ignore it – seeking instead to meet the desires of your partner’s heart – and your own fulfillment will surpass your wildest dreams.

Note that I spoke of your partner’s heart desires, not sexual desires. Since it is more common for men to miss this point, I’ll give a male analogy. To focus just on sex is like caring for your car’s body and neglecting its engine. Many men find it difficult to grasp that what powers a partner’s sex drive is the extent to which the partner feels cherished, honored, listened to, and understood.

Man or woman, if you are married, a key factor determining how successful you are in life is how successful you are in making your partner feel treasured, believed in, understood, and highly esteemed. Anyone failing to make this a priority, fails indeed.

How much do you make it your driving passion to understand your partner’s heart and priorities? If your partner’s sex preferences, or the priority your partner gives to sex, differs from yours, do you fill with resentment or do you seek to delight in what delights your partner?

Sex is the fire in your marriage. Carelessness turns the fire that warms, into the fire that burns your house down.

You might think it impossible for one sex therapist to be so far ahead of everyone else until you realize that the best sex therapist is not only like a god in his encyclopedic knowledge of human sexuality, he actually is God – none other than the very creator of love, sex and orgasmic highs.

Perhaps you don’t have free, 24/7 access to the ultimate sex therapist, but you don’t have to be envious of those who do, because anyone can have the all-powerful creator of love, sex and beauty – the most exciting person in the universe – as a personal friend. This is no gimmick, as you will see by carefully reading, You Can Find Love: What Your Fantasies Reveal.

Christians don’t need a locality guide to find the nearest sex therapist, nor do research to ascertain who is best, nor wait for an appointment, nor worry about how they could afford the best. Yet, for tragically illogical reasons, many Christians needlessly fail to make full use of this unique privilege. If you truly are a Christian, the best sex therapist in the universe – the all-knowing inventor of sex who made both you and your partner – lives in you.

Some Christians miss out because they somehow suppose that the creator of sex isn’t very interested in sexual pleasure or even disdains what he lovingly made and at the completion of creation declared to be very good. The holy Lord is not shy about giving the most explicit help for off-the-scale marital ecstasy. Some Christians fear that their Creator – who also happens to be the God of infinite knowledge – might not understand their needs, passions, desires and hang-ups. Some others worry that the God of infinite love, whose selfless devotion to our endless happiness is demonstrated by Christ volunteering to be tortured to death for us, doesn’t have our best interest at heart.

Clearly, such concerns are needless.

There is one, wonderfully complicating fact, however. The best sex therapist is also the best matchmaker, marriage counselor, vocational counselor, financial advisor, life coach, health expert, spiritual instructor, moral authority, and so on. With an endless scope of expertise, and an ability beyond our comprehension to see the big picture, he truly has our best interest at heart far more than we do. Alongside him, we are often like children wanting cheap thrills and oblivious to truly important issues that need urgent attention. This difference in agenda can infuriate us at times, but we desperately need such wisdom in our lives. As I’ve explained elsewhere, making sex our god trashes us pathetically, whereas making the creator of sex our God exalts us unbelievably. Yield to him.

Study any glowing young mother to find the source of her deeply satisfying pleasure and you will discover that at the heart of parental delights is the joy of selfless giving. So it is with truly great sex. That the joy of selfless giving is at the heart of both should not surprise. After all, parenthood begins with sex, and the same Person created both.

Like life itself, sex is an enigma. Until we understand at least some of life’s mysteries, the heights of sexual fulfillment will elude us. And, surprisingly, no one unlocks to us life’s secrets like the greatest of all teachers: Jesus. His mind-boggling revelation is that dying to self is the way to truly come alive; to become a servant is the secret to becoming great; to humble yourself is the only way to be forever exalted.

True love means your partner’s happiness, success and achievements are more important to you than your own. If that is not your passion, you might have sex but you can never engage in lovemaking. Sex can range anywhere from the pit of selfishness to the height of love.

Depending on how much love is involved, sexual intimacy can debase one to the level of an animal or exalt one to the pinnacle of humanity. And love is about selfless abandonment; the ecstasy of losing yourself as you become totally absorbed in the happiness of the other. Sex can liberate or it can enslave; it can be the fire that warms or the fire that burns. The choice is yours.

Significant Links

Love Sex God Orgasm: Christian Sex Secrets

You Can Find Love: What Your Fantasies Reveal Intimacy with God alone satisfies our deepest longings for companionship, understanding, fulfillment, and so much more.

True Love Stripping away the plastic love of fiction to find the genuine article

Singles: Celebrate Your Sexuality

“I Hate Sex!” When Wives Want a Sexless Marriage

Putting Holy Fire In Your Marriage Stirring Up Marital Passion

Is it Perverted? When one partner wants what the other fears is perverted

How to Bring a Woman to Orgasm

How Holy Wives Express Marital Love

One Woman’s Journey From Masturbation to Marital Fulfillment

Recovery from Sexual Abuse: Supernatural Solutions

When Marital Relations are a Short-Cut to Hell

Husband, Head of a Submissive Wife?

Masturbation: Compassionate Insights

Could Porn Ruin Your Sexual Response?

Not to be sold. © Copyright, Grantley Morris, 2008. For much more by the same author, see www.Net-Burst.Net
No part of these writings may be copied without citing this entire paragraph. No part may be sold.

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